My, It's Been A Tough Night (Open)

[kestrel]

The night was not going well at all. First the troublesome lessons with the Alpha, and then... Well. Everything had unravelled. Her eyes travelled up to the skies. A single, flickering star that always caught her eye made her feel slightly better. ’What am I to do?’[/i] She questioned the heavens; asking, no, begging for an answer.

Kestrel was sitting. Her paws were oh so close to the edge of the little spring she sat in front of. With a sigh, she stood and took a few steps back before laying down. The water rippled as the toe of her paw touched the water lightly, and then she lowered her face to rest on her paws. The ripples became more violent for a moment before they calmed slightly, moving only when she breathed out. From where she was laying, the stars reflected back at her from the surface. They shimmered every time air escaped her, and for a moment her eyes closed.

The water was cold on her paws; freezingly so. She didn’t move, though. It felt almost calming, rooting. Made her realize that she was awake and that this night was not just some bad dream. There was an ache in her chest. She wished it all was just a bad dream. Everything since Ra had disappeared. Or left. Had he left? Decided that he couldn’t stand this place anymore and left without her? The thought sent a pang through her, and she huffed a sigh. She missed him, the friendship they had. The relationship they had had was irreplaceable.

Or was it? Her thoughts flickered to the fleeting thought from Shadow. Flickered between Shadow and Ra. Shadow, in her mind’s eye, was clear, precise, real. Ra’s... It had been so long since she’d seen him, all she had left was the faint etching of a thought. Red with intricate golden markings. Eyes a dark amber, almost as though it were on fire. A pang caused an inner flinch, and her mind turned to Shadow. Dark, warm fur, sharp, cunning, teasing mind, amazing sense of humour; Shadow. Then there was her friend Niko. A brief smile flickered across her muzzle, remembering the awkward one-night-stand... thing they’d had oh so long ago. Ah, and the drama it’d brought between Feather and them. It was strange the female had felt so offended by something that had happened so long ago. Not to say what they had done had been wrong, or a mistake, but it was obvious that they were friends, and would be no more than that.

Her thoughts returned to Shadow, and therefore his mate and pups. Kaizer was probably somewhere near-by. She knew that he had been giving Shadow a bit of trouble recently with sneaking off and the likes. Kestrel wasn’t all that worried about it, pups were adventurous, and Kaizer knew these lands almost as well as the back of his paw. Perhaps better; she’d never caught the youth staring at the back of his paw long. What happened to Nokida? Her thoughts of the strong warrior brought another small pang. No, she couldn’t ever have Shadow as more than a friend. If Nokida ever came back... and the female did have a tendency to do that. However, then she would disappear again. A slight amount of anger directed at the other female filled Kestrel. How could she do that? To her mate and pup?

She sighed again, turning her head and looking directly up at the stars.

[darkfox16]

Shadow frowned thoughtfully to himself as he padded silently through the night. This night's meeting hadn't quite worked out like he'd planned. The only reason Shadow had even entered the pack lands was to see Kestrel. He was giving Kaizer the night off as well. The boy had enough sense to be back in the den before Shadow got home. However, what was initially going to be a social visit, had turned into a political debate about who was in command of the Galaxy pack and who should be. Shadow vented a disappointed sigh. The packs were really falling apart. At this rate they were all going to either end up loners, or dead. The latter being the more likely seeing as how Freya's Demons were the only ones that were managing to stick together in any form of a cohesive unit. Shadow growled irritably at the thought of Freya. That bitch needed to be put in her place. He was surprised that the peace loving Archimedes had wound up mating with her. How he'd managed to pull that one off Shadow would never know. Though the idea of mating with Freya didn't sound too appealing to Shadow. That was for certain.

Shadow remembered the brief tension when Aisu had appeared and left. How the pain had flashed in Kestrel's heart. Connected as he was, it was almost like it stung him too. When Kestrel looked around and ran off from the group, Shadow wasn't sure if he should follow or not. Watching her run off, Shadow felt the brief hope for him to follow flash in his mind before the connection was dropped between them. At that point, Shadow didn't need any more incentive. Excusing himself with a sarcastic bow, Shadow sped off after Kestrel. He'd be damned if he was gonna leave her alone at a time like this. A light evening breeze blew her scent in his direction as he ran. Latching on to it, Shadow trailed his friend in this way until he got a clear fix on where she was heading. Once he knew that, it was just a simple matter of meeting her there. As Shadow looked up at the ever increasing, looming figures of the glaciers, Shadow couldn't help but smirk. 'What is it with the women in my life and cold places?'

The brief humor brought on an image of Nokida, his former mate. Former, the word seemed to wrap itself around his heart and squeeze. Could he really call her that? His mouth twitched in mild sadness and conflict. She was gone again. In fact, Nokida had been so in and out of his life, and Kaizer's for that matter, that Shadow could hardly consider her the boys mother any longer. It hurt him to think about it, But he and the boy weren't just something that she could pick up and put away whenever it took her fancy. Their lives went on, with or without her. and it seemed the latter was the more common. Shadow couldn't keep clinging to a wolf who was never around. She was gone, and as far as Shadow was concerned that meant for good. Whether she returned or not. Shadow slowed his pace now, He was finally approaching the area Kestrel had stopped in. His heart warmed at the thought of seeing her. 'Subzero temperature or not,' he joked lightly in his head as he caught a glimpse of her lying beside a glacial pool.

His jet black fur reflecting a bit of the moon's shine, Shadow approached Kestrel with none of his normal appear from no where style. Now was not the time for pranks. Approaching her silently, Shadow witnessed the dark female loose an irritated sigh and turn to the stars. Shadow tilted his head slightly as he approached and put on his best good humored voice. "Was it something i said?" His voice came clear and calm in the evening chill. 'Or something i thought?' He considered quietly. As Shadow stood slightly away from the Galaxy she-wolf his fur was rustled by a cool breeze. However, the black loner's smile kept its warmth all the same. He paced slightly forward and took a seat beside her, looking down at her while she gazed at the stars. He raised both eyebrows as if to say. "Want to talk about it?" His tail swished over the cold ground and brushed lightly around her body in a slight comfort. Kind of like an arm around the shoulder would.

[kestrel]

The calm was interrupted suddenly by the noise of a voice. At first, the female was startled. Her body jolted, and her head whipped around to confront the creature who it belonged to. The raised fur on the back of her neck lowered quickly when she saw Shadow, sitting down next to her. Her body relaxed, and a small smile pulled at the corner of her muzzle. How had he snuck up on her? Checking the mental web network, she realized she’d allowed it to fall. The thin bits of mental tentacles were no longer spun out around her.

His tail wrapped around her, and for once she didn’t connect their minds. Somehow it was nice not knowing exactly what he was thinking, and she didn’t want him knowing exactly what she was thinking. Not yet at least, she realized, taking note of the inner jolt she’d felt when he wrapped his tail around her. It dimmed until there was a dull ache in her body. ”No. I just needed to get away. Couldn’t take it any more I guess.” The ach transformed, until it became two separate entities in herself, fighting against each other.

She caught the look, and a weak smile was at first her only response. ”I... I just keep wishing things were as they’d been so long ago.” She chuckled, ”I guess I’m always going to want that. I don’t like change.” The last was pretty much an unneeded comment. As if it wasn’t obvious enough; obviously she didn’t like change. She despised it, really.

And yet... Kestrel stood, gently knocking Shadow’s tail from her as she bent down to drink some of the refreshingly cool water. ”Have you ever thought about those who have disappeared?” She knew she did. Often times they could come sneaking back into her thoughts, like termites in a forest. Ra haunted her dreams, adding a bitter sweet feel to them, Pandion ran through her thoughts, Jade and Kookie fluttered through memories, Luna stared back at her in her nightmares, and Grizzly was once again a pup, with young Aisu, in her mind’s eye. Hawkeye, Caliban, Scarletta, Mink, Senna... All of those lives, lost. Pandion. Her dear brother.

Kestrel tried blinking back tears, but failed. She turned, looking into Shadow’s eyes. ”I want my brother back, everyone back...” She knew, she sounded like a sad little pup. Damn it all, once and a while a full grown wolf could bawl her eyes out if she damn well pleased. Leaning forward, she buried her face into Shadow’s thick fur. ”I hate change.” The words were a harsh growl, muffled only by his body and her mumbling.

If only they could turn back time... stop whatever it was that had killed everyone. Bring them all back.

But did she really want to bring them all back? She noticed the comfort she was gaining, merely by hiding her face against Shadow. ... Of course she did, how could she not want her friends and brother back? ...

[darkfox16]

Nodding his head, Shadow listened to Kestrel. She was remembering the past again he could tell. Even without the mental connection it wasn't hard to know what was on the females mind. Shadow's ears lowered slightly in concern. He missed the old days too, but you had to come to terms with the fact that time never stops. The world was constantly going to keep changing. Nothing and no one could ever stop it. Still, It was understandable to wish for it sometimes. There was no fault in that, but Shadow worried about Kestrel. She was refusing to let go. She was clinging to a world that had disappeared long ago, and nothing was ever going to bring it back. He sighed and was about to offer advice when Kes spoke. He closed his mouth and nodded silently. Shadow often remembered old friends. It was a way of keeping their spirits alive. Hawkeye's image appeared in his mind. That old fool had been like a brother to him. Now he wasn't sure what had happened. Whether the old Water Pack Alpha was alive or dead. Regardless, he wasn't there anymore.

Then Kestrel turned to him, her eyes glistening with fresh tears as she spoke. Wrapping his tail around them once again, Shadow allowed her to bury her face in his chest. He placed his head over her shoulder and did his best to offer comfort to her while she cried. It was the best he could do for her now. Intelligent as he was, Shadow didn't know everything, and he certainly didn't know how to heal the pain in her heart. The best he could do was offer her a shoulder to cry on and someone to talk to. He continued to whisper words of encouragement while she cried. "I know Kessie.. I miss them too." He nuzzled her softly. "But if you think about it they're not gone." He smiled reassuringly at her as he looked down on her tear stained face. "Not so long as we are here to carry on their spirits in our hearts." He spoke clearly in a soothing tone. "As long as we draw breath, a piece of them will live on through us. That much will never change."

[kestrel]

'... A piece of them will live on through us. That much will never change.' She nodded, pulling her muzzle away from him to look up at the stars. That little blinking star caught her eye. For a second, she could have sworn she'd seen it flare... but...

She shifted slightly, feeling Shadow's body against her brought her back to herself. With a slight sigh, Kestrel turned her face back to her friend. "Thank you, Shadow." Her thoughts turned for a moment to Ra, how she wished he could be here. ... But he wasn't, Shadow was. She gave the wolf in question a weak smile.

Her eyes trailed over her friend. Age was apparent on him, on herself as well, though she wouldn't consider either of them old. They were in their prime still... Shifting she felt a slight stiffness in her back. Okay, maybe on the ending cusp of their prime. A slight sadness filled her. She soon would be too old to have pups of her own. A flicker of the regret struck across her face, and she adverted her eyes for a moment before giving her friend another smile.

"Thank you." She repeated, leaning forward and giving him a small lick on the cheek.